baby steps

I did it. For the first time since this rollercoaster ride began, I was able to resist temptation, to put my head before my heart, to avoid being swept up by his charm. I feel proud of myself. For once, I called the shots. You have no idea how great it felt to have him swooning at me, trying everything to get that single kiss that would proclaim his triumph over me, yet again, and be able to avert my head every single time. I felt in complete control of the situation, and I had no idea it could feel this good. I know simply averting his search for a kiss isn't much, but to me, it means the world. Baby steps, people. Before, all my self control would crumble just at the touch of his hand. Now, I feel confident enough, I feel like I can leave this all behind. This is a major breakthrough, and I couldn't be more proud of myself.

To top it all, I learned that finally, after all my efforts, I won over the single most difficult mother I have ever encountered. Normally, parents love me on the spot, but this woman was a tough cookie. I'm sure you are all familiar with this song by a girl called Fanny Lu, where she talks about her ex and how she won't go back. Well, there's a part in that song where she says even his mother felt like she was the one, and exactly when that part was playing, Super Boy informed me that that was how his mother felt for me, and I couldn't hide my smile. I mean, at this point whether his mother loves me or not is completely beside the point, but it really fed my ego to know I finally won her over. She's demanding, grudge-holding and hard to get to know, but godammit, I did it. Now I can really say there isn't a single parent that has met me and not liked me. But, too bad, he missed the train, and it has left the station. :)