day eight

Day Eight
"Fuck, it's only been one week?!"

So, it's been eight days since I began my detox program, and it feels like it was years ago when I last had a piece of cake. Although, I have to admit, I feel full of energy, and much less stuffy than before. What I thought would be the hardest week to begin, with the break and all, turned out to be the best week to start. Why? Well, I had to endure the toughest challenges, and I survived them all! I went to places where people literally stuffed their faces in front of me with all sorts of things I cannot eat, and I never succumbed to the temptation, although I could practically scream out of frustration. Even today, I went to a Starbucks with my family and all my nieces had large pieces of triple chocolate cake, all I did was stare longingly at them and gulp back saliva. Congratulations to me. But I also had a revelation, sitting right there in the middle of the Starbucks, with the sweet aroma of chocolate and coffee beans teasing my nostrils: fuck, it's only been a week of this! This torture is still set for another two weeks or so.

Can I make it?

Ugh, I don't know. It's so hard, especially when I'm hungry and I have to search hard at the store or at the cafeteria to find something I'm allowed to eat. And then there's the whole waking up at 6:45 to get to the gym by 7 am. Jesus, it takes all of my will power and then some to get up that early. God, sometimes I feel like just giving up and stuffing my face with ice cream. But then one of those super slim girls walks by, and I say goddamnit I will reach my goal, even if it kills me!

So in case anyone ever wonders why I'm looking like the bloody Grinch on Christmas morning, please take pity on me and don't ask me if I want some chocolate. During this detox period I will not respond to any physical attacks or verbal confrontations that may harm your personal wellbeing. I am more volatile and short-tempered than a woman on her period, dumped by her boyfriend and recently told she's fat.

day one

After several negative reactions to my eating habits and overall appearance during the weekend I decided I needed to start a detox period, that included diet, regular excercise and pushing the 'down' button on my stress levels. In order to achieve some support from all of you guys during this rough time, to inform you of my bad humour in case you ever feel hurt from my moodiness in the next couple of weeks, and just to entertain you, I've decided to do some small recaps of my days during this process. I'm probably not going to post every single day, but it will be enough to give you a couple of good laughs, I hope.


Day One
"Jesus Christ, I really want a chocolate now!"


I began the first phase of my new program yesterday, with a strict diet that left out all flours and sugars. That means I can have no bread, cereal, pasta, tortillas and no juice, fruti, candy or chocolate. At breakfast I was so full of energy and good will towards achieving my goal, I had no problem eating the hard-boiled egg and low fat milk I was served. But as noon rolled by, my head was starting to swoon and the tuna I had tasted like cardboard. I began to notice many things I hadn’t before in the kitchen, like all the chocolate cookies, Cheerios, buttered bread and assortment of chocolates left over from Saturday my aunt had. It all seemed more colorful, more abundant and yummier than ever before. It all seemed to shout ‘eat me, eat me!’ every second.

Oh God, just kill me now.

It was a relief to leave my aunt’s house, and not have to stare at my niece stuff her face with cookies while my mouth waters. Torture’s over right? Wrong. I arrive back home to a house full of people enjoying all sorts of food I can’t eat, as if they had gone to the supermarket that day especially to mess with my head. And while I had my dinner (eggs, yet again, since I hadn’t really bought anything that fit my diet) my rommates ate all sorts of things that made me want to shoot myself right there. It was like a fuckin’ gourmet festival in there. But alas, finally, I was through with day one. And I was mighty proud of myself for resisting all those temptations. I made up my mind to attend the gym every day at 7 am (because it’s the only available time I have) and to drop a class (probably French, I still haven’t quite decided), which are phase two and three, respectively, and which will contribute (hopefully) to back me up a few inches from complete insanity and help me reach my goal weight.

Oh, and I’ve also decided to stick a nice picture of a skinny gal on my door, to remind me of what’s at stake whenever my brain starts cooing ‘oh just have one chip, it’s alright!’ or ‘psh, sleep in today instead of going to the gym, nothing will happen!’ like it usually does whenever I’m trying to loose weight. I’ll keep you posted on my ups and downs, and please bear with me if I’m being especially moody or grouchy one day, I have no sugar in my system and I’ve forgotten what ice cream tastes like.