soundtrack to my life...

No fue suficiente haberte amado tanto
ni pagar tu amor amargo con la propia vid
ano fue suficiente abandonar mis sueños, ni vender el alma
para que sintieras algo por mi

No fue suficiente vivir
traicionándome en silencio por ti,
aun así te vas y me quedo hablando sola
y hoy ya no me puedo mentir
ahora entiendo bien porque a tu lado nunca fui feliz,
es que tu único amor, era el tuyo por ti

**********

Amor...
Qué conveniente situación,
me has conformado el corazón con las migajas de tu amor
Por tí, no creo en mí,y aún así pides más...

No me queda nada, ¿qué quieres de mi?
¿Que te da el derecho de hacerme sufrir?
Guarda tus palabras y déjame ir...
¿Quién dijo que una mentira puede hacer feliz?
más que la verdad, amor, no hablaba de mí...

Si ya no existe otro adjetivo...para este amor tan despectivo,
dime…¿qué diablos haces ya conmigo,
y qué hago aquí? porque aun así pides más...
**********

Were you just kidding?
cause it seems to me, this thing is breaking down
we almost never speak, I dont feel welcome anymore
baby what happened, please tell me?Cause one second it was perfect, now you're halfway out the door
And I stare at the phone, he still hasn't called
and then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all

Oh, and it rains in your bedroom, everything is wrong
it rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone

Was I out of line?
Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide, like a scared little boy
I looked into you in the eyes, thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sureso here's everything, coming down to nothing
here's to silence that cuts me to the core
where is this going? thought I knew for a minute, but I dont anymore

**********

Back to where we were, before
Things got in the way
Life gets so confusing, when you know what you're losing

You, me
Why can't we see that there's, more to love than we'll ever know
sometimes you're closer when you're letting go

**********

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it’s 2 am and I’m cursing your name
You’re so in love that you act insane and that’s the way I loved you
Breakin’ down and coming undone
It’s a roller coaster kinda rush and I never knew Icould feel that much
And that’s the way I loved you

And you were wild and crazy just so frustrating,
intoxicationg complicated, regarded as my big mistake....

**********

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I'll make it through, and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe, that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

**********

Say you’re sorry, that face of an angel comes out just when you need it to
As I pace back and forth all this time because I honestly believed in you
holding on the days drag on,
stupid girl, I should have known, I should have known

I was a dreamer before you went and let me down

Baby I was naive, got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance
I had so many dreams about you and me, happy endings,
now I know

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well

**********

All this time I was wasting, hoping you, would come around
I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down
And its taking me this long baby but I figured you out

You don't have to call, anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last, straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can say tell me that you're sorry but I don't believe you baby
Like I did, before

Looking so innocent, I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life if you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets and I'm tired of being last to know

You used to shine so bright but I watched all of it fade
**********
Te digo que me voy porque ya no soporto mi amarga soledad
Que ya no eres romantico como cuando me empezaste a conquistar
Que te olvidaste de los pequeños detalles que me hacian vibrar
Que te rodea una armadura de acero dificil de penetrar

**********

You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me you like her
You made me laugh, you made cry
I don't know which side to buy

**********

And the award to the best liar goes to you...
**********

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be...

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it
All of our memories so close to me just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like i was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

**********

Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down, like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left, just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep, guess I let you get the best of me

Well, I never saw it coming, and I should've started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I'm slowly getting closure, I guess it's really over, I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces, from spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.

**********

You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me
So I start a fight 'cause I need to feel somethin'
And you do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted

Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending given to a perfect day,
Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sittin' here thinkin' it through, I've never been anywhere cold as you

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there lovin' you and washed them all away
And you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

You never did give a damn thing, honey, but I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you

and so it ends

You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me
So I start a fight cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
So just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you
Died for you

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counting all the scars you made

And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
-Cold as you, Taylor Swift

It ended. Not so unexpectedly this time, but still in a rather painful way. After two amazing weeks and two awful ones, I'm single again. I never thought it could be possible, but it felt incredibly painful and amazingly liberating all at the same time. I think, in the end, what hurt me the most wasn't the fact that it ended. I can deal with that, I had actually been preparing myself mentally for the possibility, so it wasn't that much of a shock. No, what really hurt was realizing he never really gave a damn. About me, about the relationship, about anything. He made me believe that even though he was cold and mostly insensitive to the world, that I actually triggered something in him that made him give a shit about life. Realizing that all this time he felt....nothing, it made a little part of me die. Also, and I guess this is the good part, it made me realize I had committed myself to two whole weeks of abuse, humiliation and all around asshole-ery because I'm terrified of ending up alone. There, I said it. I knew he was acting like a jerk, I knew he wasn't treating me right, and it took me this long to put a stop to it. That's not right, because you should never be with someone that treats you like crap just because you feel if you let him go no one else will ever show up.

Hearing him blame me for all our issues, saying that he believed I acted indifferent to all that he did because I wanted to give him a lesson (ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! do you not know me? do you really think I would want revenge and thus act in the same way you do? YOU CRAZY BASTARD), it made me catch a glimpse of how he sees the world. And quite frankly, I didn't like what I saw. That it never occurred to him that I let a lot of his stupidity slide because I secretly believed if I didn't cause any conflict, the relationship would improve, or that I was trying to find the right way and time to talk to him about it, or something else, that the only thing he could think of that would explain my reaction to all his idioticy was that I was being indifferent, trying to teach him a lesson, it made me want to scream. He really doesn't realize people aren't as selfish and vindictive as he is, and that's just sad. But that wasn't all. He actually told me that my behavior was pretty much the source of all our problems, that in his current state he couldn't be with someone that responded to indifference with indifference, that he needed someone to scream and throw a hissy fit whenever he acted like a jerk, and that by behaving the way I was, I wasn't giving him anything, I wasn't helping him grow, and that he too wasn't giving me anything and wasn't helping me grow.

After I tried to explain, as calmly as I could, that the problem wasn't the way I reacted to his actions, it was his actions in the first place. That he felt the need to act like a jerk, that was the real issue. But I don't think the message got through that thick skull of his. The he went on to say that he had realized he could feel nothing for no one, not even his best friends, not even his girlfriend, that he knew there was something wrong, but he didn't know how to fix it. He told me he didn't know what it was like to do something nice because you felt like it, that all the nice things he had done for me had been forced, because he tried to force himself to act like a good boyfriend. I think that is what really got to me. That I never actually inspired any human feelings, that it was all an act, that he could pretend to like me so well, it just killed me. In the end, we agreed to be just friends, and he even joked saying that he was probably a better friend than boyfriend. I smiled then, but I really don't think so. Because first and foremost, we were friends, and friends don't behave the way he did with their friends. Friends don't think everyone has failed him in the past (aka the Joker and Arsty) and that's why he acts the way he does (being a hypocrite in the meantime, because of course he doesn't tell them what he really thinks of them). He failed me, as a friend first and foremost, and I cannot simply brush that away and start over. He was a coward, he said so himself, and these weren't really tragic situations. Imagine if I have an emergency, do you really think I'm going to be able to count on him?

I do feel bad about the whole thing, and last night I bawled my eyes out, because of course part of me misses the good times, as fake as they turned out to be. Part of me still wants him by my side, but this time around that part of me isn't the strongest one. My eyes have finally been opened to what became a really destructive relationship, and while I did my best to salvage the wreckage, there was nothing left to save anymore. I leave knowing there wasn't anything else I could do, that I did my best, and that's enough. Let him deal with his emtpy soul, I'm done.

All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around,
I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down,
And it's taken me this long baby but I figured you out.
And you got your share of secrets and I'm tired of being the last to know.
- You're not sorry, Taylor Swift

eh

So, I know I haven't posted in a really looong while, and while I could totally blame it on the influenza-break and the laziness it awoke in me, to be completely honest I have had time to write. I just don't feel like it. The sole purpose of this blog was to write whatever came to my mind, when I felt like it, and I just haven't felt inspired these days. Blame it on the new deadly virus, the awful new school schedule, the weather, or whatever, I just don't want to write. I could probably crank out a post about my mini-vacations and teh boyfriend, but it wouldn't be funny or sarcastic or rant-y and when my writing is missing those elements it's BORING and bland, and so I'll spare you the dullness of reading it. But I promise as soon as the muse returns, I'll start posting.

for heaven's sake

Today I experimented first hand what widespread pandemonium can create among society. Last night the Health Ministry issued a warning that a mutation of the influenza virus is propagating rapidly among the people that live in Mexico City, and so in order to avoid an epidemic, we should all try to avoid, among other things, going to any public places, sharing food, shaking hands and kissing on the cheeks and especially steer clear from people with flu-like symptoms. For the first time in more than two decades, they ordered all schools to close, from kindergarden to universities, both public and private. They recommended people not to go to work unless absolutely necessary, but unfortunately for me, what I do is catalogued as 'absolutely necessary.' So here I am, in a semi-vacant office, after passing a rather arduous and intimacy-violating process downstairs in order to enter the building.

Have you ever seen Monsters, Inc.? Remember the parts where a warning was issued because there was contact with a child or with their belongings and the Child Detection Agency appeared out of nowhere, in their special suits, poking and probing everyone and supposedly 'sanitizing' the affected area? Well, if you can picture that with humans instead of monsters, you can get a pretty good idea of what is going on today downstairs at the Ministry. There were like three or four ambulances parked outside, several policemen standing guard, all of them wearing mouth covers. As soon as I entered, it was like entering the twilight zone, because instead of being greeted by the normal multicolored, formal clothing people wear to work, I was greeted by a sea of white. Tons of doctors and nurses where standing all over, with mouth covers and gloves, interviewing people as they entered. A rather pissed off looking woman received you, barking at any unsuspecting passer-by that your credentials should be in plain sight. Then you were escorted to a doctor, who practically thrust her head two inches away from your face, and asked if you had any cough, or runny nose, or some sort of flu-like symptom, all the while staring straight into your eyes, like she comes with an integrated lie detector that will sound off an alarm if you don't tell her the truth. Scary shit.

When I was finally released from the CIA-like interrogation, and allowed to press my finger print into the machine that records all arrivals and exits from slaves...I mean Social Services kids (and mind you, because of all that parade I was twenty minutes late), I came across the LARGEST elevator line I had ever seen. Seriously, there were like fourty people waiting to access the elevators, maybe more, and I was like WTF? Turns out, no more than six people can enter an elevator at a time. Don't ask me why, maybe the mutation of the virus is kinda cranky and starts infecting people left and right when there are more than six in one same elevator. Anyway, as I waited for another twenty minutes to get a frickin elevator, I was given a hand out with a description of what the hell was going on (in case you lived in a cave and missed the news), the common symptoms of the disease, and the measures that would be enforced from today till Tuesday to avoid infection.

Once I finally arrived at my floor, I was greeted with an almost desertic panoramic. Out of the tons of people that work around me, only a couple showed up. Well, maybe some did show up but were sent home by Dr. Grouchy Face. Those few brave soldiers that did make it to work all had panicked looks on their faces, like the virus was stalking every corner, just waiting for them to get distracted and pounce. It was sort of funny, whenever someone walked by you they tried to walk as far away as possible, and lord save us from shaking hands or kissing on the cheek. But the best part of it all was a telephone conversation I overheard, some guy called his girlfriend and talked to her on speaker for some time. Of course the influenza subject came up almost immediately, and it just cracked me up:

Guy- You know, you should stay away from tacos
Girlfriend- Why?
Guy- If they are made out of pork, I mean
Girlfriend- But why?
Guy- Haven't you heard of the virus?
Girlfriend- Yeah, but isn't it like the flu or something?
Guy- Yeah, but they say the virus spread to humans from pigs, so...

[REST OF THE CONVERSATION INUADIBLE SINCE I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING]

Dude, that just made my day. I mean, are you kidding me? IT'S NOT THE AVIARY FLU, OR THE MAD COW DISEASE. Eating pork meat will not infect you, trust me my friend. More and more people just seem to confirm my drunk-brain-cells theory every day, but more than irritate me, it just makes me laugh. It's people like that guy that make instant-coffee producing companies print the intructions for making coffee on the package.

Dude. Seriously.

singing in the rain

I believe it was Nietzsche (or Bergson? Gah, I don't really remember, but I'm sure I saw it in Ideas III and it definitely wasn't Wittgenstein, Heidegger, Freud or Marx. That just leaves Comte, Mill, Nietzsche and Bergson. Help me out here!) who said that life cannot be one endless continuum of extasy, of continuous excitement that prevents us from resting, just as it cannot be one permanent period of unalteration, endless tranquility that makes our soul enter a sort of letargic state. Life is a combination of both extremes, leading us into a sort of roller coaster ride where some days are ups and some are downs, but in the end both are necessary to lead a sane life. Currently, my life is sliding up to reach one of the highest turns I've yet experienced, after having suffered a rather harsh fall that prolongued for a couple of months. It seems like everything came together in a perfect way, at the perfect time. If this is the All-Mighty One's attempt at making up for the fact that he made my life incredibly miserable only a few months ago, or simply another cruel joke of fate where they get me all worked up over the good things in my life and suddenly -bam!, they are gone and I'm back to that everlasting, miserable, dark pit of depression, I don't know, and I don't care.

I feel like I'm on top of the world again, and it feels damn good to be back. School's almost over (THANK YOU ALL MIGHTY ONE) and I might not do soo badly like last semester. Teh boyfriend and I are doing awesome, and most of my friends are doing well too, and that makes me happy. I know my posts are perkier and a lot more fun/creative/interesting/poetic when I'm sad or pissed off, but I'll try my hardest to provide you with the same entertainment now. I'll leave you now with an image that made my day:

sólo dejate amar...

Te he buscando tanto
Y hoy que te he encontrado sé
Que no hay nadie más.

Nunca he sido un santo
Debo confesarlo ya
Con honestidad.

Fueron tantas horas
Tan solo y triste
Hasta que te vi.

Tu llenas mi vida
Tu llenas mi alma
Por eso siempre quedate aquí
Sólo dejate amar.

Un oceano entero
No me ha impedido
Llegar hasta donde estás.

Todo lo que hago
Te lo quiero entregar
Y cada día más.

Fueron tantas horas
Tan solo y triste
Hasta que te vi.

Tu llenas mi vida
Tu llenas mi alma
Por eso siempre quedate aquí.

Amame y dejate amar
Puedes en mi confiar
Dime que estas sintiendome
Y puedes al fin verte en mi
Verme en ti.

Siempre quedate aquí
Tu llenas mi vida
Tu llenas mi alma
Por eso siempre dejate amar
Porque no puedo si te vas respirar
Dime que estas sintiendome
Dejate amar
Que no ves que este amor es mi luz.

Te he buscando tanto
Y hoy que te he encontrado sé
Que no hay nadie más.

funny how things change

Last Thursday, a couple of my friends came up with the brilliant idea of going to Chili's and taking advantage of their 'Thursday's are martini nights' to get crazy-ass drunk, since all drinks cost $35 until 11 pm. Quite honestly, I felt like the last time I had gone out (which technically had been two weeks earlier) had been light years away, and I was really looking forward to heading out and having fun. You all know me, and thus know I'm not the sort of gal to get plastered whenever she has the chance. Actually, I don't think I've ever gotten plastered per se, I've only yet managed to reach that 'I'm really happy and I'm having a blast without having to depend on anyone else to get home or do something stupid and/or humilliating' level that I'm comfortable at. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it's loosing control of myself, and so I find it hard to keep on drinking once I reach that point, because I'm afraid I'll loose it and God knows where I'll wind up. Not to mention the hilarious stories people will have to fill me in on about all the ridiculous things I said and did that I won't remember. Therefore, I knew in advance I was going to wind up moderately drunk, but I was sure many of the friends that would be going would wind up plastered, and I must admit, it is one guilty pleasure of mine to laugh about all the ridiculous things people do and say when they are out of their minds drunk.

Anyway, since both Super Boy and I had class until ten, by the time we arrived many people were already quite merry. We were a small group, but we managed to create an excellent ambiance. Drunk n' Rowdy, of course, was there, much to his misfortune the only one without a date. The Philosopher was there was well, with his girlfriend (Super Boy's ex girlfriend, I might add) la Gioconda, who had come up with the idea in the first place, and a good friend I hadn't seen in a while now whom I'll refer to as Miss Sassy, along with her boyfriend. She came to live with us only a few weeks after I did, but she wasn't a student. Godzilla hired her to manage the place, and we became really close in the few months she lived there. She was the one that talked me into giving Super Boy a chance in the first place, and we started talking zumba lessons together. But like all the people that have worked there, she started having issues with Godzilla, and finally, she left in mid-October. Since then, I only saw her a couple more times, and even though we both promised to keep in touch, life got in the way and I wound up not knowing anything until that day. Turns out, she had kept in touch with la Gioconda, and she was working at the Ministry, only a few floors down from where I was. Small world, huh?

To be completely honest, I was looking forward to seeing everyone but la Gioconda. You all lovely readers of this blog know the history, and you all know what I think of her. I admire the fact that she had the courage to apologize and take responsability for what she did, but many parts of her personality still irritated me beyond belief and so I knew there was no way we could ever be anything more than acquaintances, the sort that only happen to meet because their respective boyfriends are best friends. She's fine in small doses, but after spending several hours with her, I end up cursing the skies and paying attention to anything other than what is coming out of her mouth. I'm sure her intentions are good, but she's just too in your face for my tastes. Or well, at least that's what I thought of her until last Thursday. I know many of you will frown and say 'oh cristina don't be a silly goose,' but I kinda think she's all right now. More than all right....verging on pretty cool. Nothing specifically happened or was said to make me change my mind, it was just the course of the whole evening that had me realize she's not such a terrible person and I shouldn't give her such a hard time. I have a history of judging people by first impression, and more often than not my first impressions aren't correct.

I had an awesome time, and since we were only three girls, Miss Sassy, la Gioconda and I talked a lot, so I can safely say part of it was due to them. We have more in common than I would have imagined, and by the time la Gioconda, in her drunken state, proclaimed she had decided I was a good friend of hers, I realized I kinda thought the same thing. She even extended an invitation to spend the upcoming long weekend at her father's ranch, which rumor has it is awesome (he has horses! as in live, breathing, cute horses!) and the weekend of June 7th as well, to celebrate her birthday. Before that night, I would probably have faked a smile and thanked her politely, like my mother taught me, but on the inside I would be laughing and eye rolling, thinking 'for real woman? do you honestly think I want to spend more time than absolutely necessary with you?' But now I thought 'sounds fun, I'll run it with my parents as soon as I can.'

I'll keep you updated on upcoming events between her and I, but I have a feeling this could turn out to be a good thing. I know I have a problem with people not liking me, and I know I have an obsessive compulsion to go out of my way to get everyone to like me that borders on the insane, so I'm sure many of you are thinking this is just a manifestation of that particular obsession, and that she has some sort of machiavelian plan to ruin my life (again), especially now that Super Boy and I are officially back together, but I just ask for one chance. I'll be extremely cautious, I promise, and I won't let myself be swept away by her charm. But if there's even the slightest chance of a good friendship here, I must pursue it and see where it takes me. If things don't turn out well, I can simply shrug and walk away, satisfied that I didn't let my picky self get in the way of what could have been a good friendship. Besides, liking her will definitely make my life easier, since I see her or hear from her A LOT, and my insides will thank me when they don't have to wrench anymore at the sight of her. We'll just see how that works out ok?

from the plain stupid to the downright moronic

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1169266/Pictured-Shocking-moment-polar-bear-attacks-woman-climbed-zoo-enclosure.html?ITO=1490

Hitler must be crying right now. He worked so hard to make the world believe the Germans were the superior race, the destined rulers of the world, and the German people go and ruin it all. Between the old guy in Austria that held his daughter hostage for almost 24 years and procreated several children with her (yeah, I know he's not German, but they are the same race so he counts) and the woman pictured up there, I think it's only sane to consider them Arians as very crazy-ass people. Who in God's name jumps in the polar bear enclosure at a zoo, DURING THEIR FEEDING TIME??!! No wait, scratch that, who jumps into a polar bear enclosure AT ALL?? Are you kidding? Of course they were going to bite her! Let's thank the heavens they didn't rip out her head, because face it, that was a very probable event. Imagine what the bear felt, going happily about with his business, eating his meat, when all of a sudden this insane biotch comes out of the blue, jumps into his pool and starts swimming towards him. The only thing that crossed his mind was probably 'more meat, and it's fresh! yummy.' See to what extent plastered brain cells can take you? It is a very serious condition. Although, when you think about it, maybe stupidity is destiny's way of slowly but surely getting rid of all the idiots that have the misfortune of populating this planet, and thus achieving the birth of the super man Nietzsche talked about...

i'm lost in your eyes

Vacations are finally over. Bummer. I could really use another week or two to unwind and relax. Don't get mew wrong, this past week was quite relaxing, but it started off with such a bang that it took me all week long to take it all in. But let me rewind. Super Boy's BFF, Arsty, turned 21 this past Tuesday, and she decided she wanted to celebrate in Oaxtepec, since her boyfriend/boy toy/lover/whatever had a house there, with a pool and everything. So she invited several of her friends, including Super Boy, the Joker and myself to spend Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday there. I was really looking forward to the weekend, especially since I was certain Super Boy and I would have the long due talk about us there. But of course, my adorable school had to butt in and ruin it for me. Turns out I had an exam on Saturday morning, at 7 am sharp. Whopee-freaking-doo. Super Boy then told me that the Joker was also leaving until Staurday, since he had classes until late Friday night. Since he was taking his car, Super Boy arranged it so he picked me up and we left the city together. You can only imagine just how much I was looking forward to that trip. One hour and a half of the Joker's obnoxious self, with no one else around but me to listen to his lame ass jokes. I was certain it would be awful, but I was willing to put up with it as long as I could spend the rest of the day in the pool, with Super Boy. I kept telling myself 'it's worth it Cristina, it's worth it,' but turns out I didn't have to brain wash myself so.

I have no idea what got into him that day, but it was a pretty nice trip. We talked about him and his girlfriend, Fanny Mae, and their issues, and we talked about Super Boy and I, and our issues. It was actually...kinda nice. Like entering a bizarre twilight zone where it is discovered the Joker is actually a human being. There were no real problems other than slight traffic, at least until we reached the small town of Oaxtepec. For those of you that don't have the pleasure of knowing it, there is this large, kinda famous water park there, you know, with the slides and the pools and everything. But it's kinda....'pueblerino' for lack of a better word. So of course you can only imagine the type of people that go there. But we didn't have much trouble with the people, at least until some moron decided he didn't have anything better to do but crash his car against us. For real. Everything was going perfect, until we realized we had passed the exit we were supposed to take, and when we were turning, some asshole was reversing his car (a tiny Golf, mind you) like he owned a frickin trailer, and even though the Joker honked like a mad person, the idiot still managed to bump against our driver's door.

By that moment, I had passed the 12-hour-with-no-food-ingestion barrier, and the heat was unbearable, so you can imagine the Grinch in me was awakening. But still, I tried to remain cool as the two men settled the dispute and called their insurances. Thankfully, the Joker's good mood still hadn't dissipated, and he called Arsty to arrange someone to come pick me up. I was forever grateful, since I was minutes away from passing out. Sure enough, several minutes later Super Boy and some friends came along, and I drove away to the house while he stayed with the Joker until they settled the matter. I have never been more glad to see shade, a Coke and a chair in my life. As I regained strength, Arsty filled me in on the panic that had struck all the people at the house when they received word that we had crashed. She was especially emphatic (of course) on the fact that Super Boy almost went insane with the worry, a thousand and one different scenarios playing in his mind about what had or could happen to me. That made my day.

Later that evening, we were all sitting around the dinner table, talking and laughing, and since the Joker had brought along his stereo and all the equipment, we had loud music too. Someone put in one of Artsy's CD's, and Fall for you by Secondhand Serenade started playing. If you haven't heard it yet, I strongly recommend it. It's a beautiful song, one that Super Boy and I first heard back when we were still apart but acting like we were dating. So of course he asked me to dance, and we slow danced our way through that song as well as other equally romantic ones like Love Story by Taylor Swift. Then, one song started playing, called Fui by Reik. That song was among the many I played over and over two or three weeks after Super Boy broke up with me. I told him so as we danced, and he simply smiled and said 'well then let's make a good memory now' and kissed me. That just killed me. Then Everything by Lifehouse started playing, and it's one of our songs, and right then I realized I had completely forgotten about the rest of the people in the house, about everything other than him and me, dancing close together, staring into one another's eyes. Yes, it's all very cheesy, but please bear with me, I'm on cloud nine.

Anyway, after the romantic songs were over, we sat down again and after a while I went to bed, because I was exhausted. I hadn't really slept well all week, and my body begged me for it. The next day, after playing Jeopardy and Charades for a while, Artsy and her boyfriend went to sleep early, leaving only the Joker, Super Boy and me, since her friends had left that morning. The Joker left us for a moment to talk on the phone with Fanny Mae since they were having several issues, and Super Boy asked me to come out to the porch with him. After a while of sitting there, staring up at the sky and talking about random nonsense, he turned to me and said 'ok, so remember what we talked about last week? Whatever you decided, whether you think I'm good for you or not, is only for you to know. You don't have to share it. Now it is my turn to ask though, as cheesy and corny as it will sound.....will you be my girlfriend?' Holy mother mary. I was shocked. Beyond shocked, I was astounded. Never in my life would I have imagined him asking me that. To me, we were technically back together, and since he had always made his feelings about that sort of formalisms clear, I never thought he would ask me. I managed to overcome my astoundment for a moment, of course, to mutter a 'yes' with all the strength I could muster. Then he went on to say how the moment wasn't the movie-perfect moment I probably had imagined, etc., but I cut him off by saying it had been perfect. Of course, every girl dreams about that moment, and thinks about all the possible ways it could happen, but in the end, no matter how it happens, it will always be perfect.

A few minutes later, I asked him what had made him change his mind, since he had seemed so intent on never getting back together. I cannot paraphrase his entire speech, but it went something along the lines of: 'I realized I never stopped feeling for you, I am trying to become a better person, and when I sat down to think about how I could become a better man, amidst the answers was you, you make me be a better man, and I like the sort of person I become when I'm with you.' After that, how can you not melt? What could a guy possibly tell you to top 'you make me a better person'? That was the cherry on top of the cake, and since then I'm floating on cloud nine. Forgive me if I'm not particularly eloquent today, but yesterday I couldn't get a wink of sleep due to the heat, and I'm really tired. I just needed to share the recent events with you all.

fall must haves

Billowing, pleated goddess gown

Marchesa Fall 2009

Blinged out cocktail dress

Marchesa Fall 2009

Pleated detail clutch

Viktor & Rolf Fall 2009

Ruffle edged jacket

Fendi Fall 2009

Waist high pencil skirt

Yves Saint Laurent Fall 2009

Floral design dress

Behnaz Sarafpour Fall 2009

Form fitting LBD

Lanvin Fall 2009

Mid-length, straight black coat
Givenchy Fall 2009

Bubble LBD

Giambattista Valli Fall 2009

Plaid, mid-length coat

D&G Fall 2009

Waist hugging jackets that flare out at the hips

Christian Dior Fall 2009

Knee length coat
Bottega Veneta Fall 2009