Saturday, April 17, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
funny thoughts
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
HAHAHAHA. MADE MY DAY. NOW I JUST NEED TO FIND MYSELF SOMEONE WITH SEXY PARTS....THEY SEEM SO FRICKIN SCARCE THESE DAYS!
It's been ages since I've been on date, and I'm beginning to feel sort of like Ugly Betty...So if anyone knows someone I might like, by all means speak up. I'm bored of being single. xD
HAHAHAHA. MADE MY DAY. NOW I JUST NEED TO FIND MYSELF SOMEONE WITH SEXY PARTS....THEY SEEM SO FRICKIN SCARCE THESE DAYS!
It's been ages since I've been on date, and I'm beginning to feel sort of like Ugly Betty...So if anyone knows someone I might like, by all means speak up. I'm bored of being single. xD
Saturday, March 20, 2010
los estúpidos deberían nacer mudos
Bueno, ahora es mi turno de hacerlo a tu manera. Siempre he pensado que, no importa lo que nos digan los libros, es muy dificil no hacerle caso a lo que piensan los demás de ti. Que si estás muy gordo, muy flaco, muy alto, muy chaparro, muy moreno, muy blanco; en fin, siempre va a haber alguien que tenga algo que decir sobre ti, ya sea bueno o malo. Siempre va a haber alguien que te juzgue por lo que eres, porque en sus pequeñas mentes no hay cabida para algo distinto a lo que conocen.
He tenido muchos problemas para manejar las opiniones de los demás: cuando era más chica me costaba mucho trabajo imaginar que a alguien no le cayera bien, o que alguien no pensara que era la niña más inteligente y más bonita del mundo. Cuando tenía que enfrentar comentarios o críticas negativas, generalmente lo hacía de la peor manera. Me deprimía, me enfurecía y las más veces lloraba hasta no poder más. Aunque hacia el mundo adoptaba la máscara de 'ya no me importa lo que piensen de mi,' sí me importaba, y mucho, y siempre trataba de acomodarme a las exigencias de los demás. Que si debía ser más delgada, dejé de comer hasta desvanecerme; que si tenía que ser más lista, estudiaba hasta que los ojos se me cerraban del cansancio. En fin, era una obsesión enfermiza por siempre quedar bien ante los demás, por tratar de ser perfecta. Es un defecto enorme, que me ha costado mucho trabajo superar, y aun sigo peleandome a veces conmigo misma por dejar ir las críticas de gente ignorante, que no sabe lo que dice.
Por eso, ver que a alguien le afecte lo que un imbécil tenga que decir, me duele en el alma. No tengo la autoridad moral para decir que debes dejar pasar ese tipo de cosas, porque ni yo misma lo hago, pero como una persona muy sabia me lo dijo: el hecho de que yo también lo haga simplemente me da la experiencia suficiente para poder darte el consejo de no hacerlo. Gente que esté en desacuerdo con lo que eres, habrá muchisima. ¿Por qué? Pues porque ignorantes, desafortundamante, nunca dejarán de nacer, y conforme pasa el tiempo, sus números solamente aumentan. Lo importante aquí es darse cuenta de que su opinión no importa, no pasa nada si te rechazan. Es más, tómalo como una bendición porque luego la estupidez se pega. Lo único que importa es lo que tú pienses de tí mismo: si estás conforme con lo que eres, te aseguro que siempre econtrarás gente que también lo esté. Y estas personas están a tu alrededor, saben lo que eres y no dejaron de quererte ni un tantito por eso. Recuerda el miedo que tuviste de confesarlo, de que al saberse la verdad te harían a un lado. Pero eso no pasó, en ningun caso, y eso habla de lo grande que eres. Eres lo suficientemente importante en todas esas vidas como para que no importe lo que digas, hagas o dejes de hacer, nadie te dé la espalda.
Así que no te dejes desanimar por la reacción tan ridícula que algunas personas hayan tenido, o la reacción que otras más tendrán en el futuro. Esa clase de gente siempre la encontrarás, y debes aprender a lidiar con ellos. En mi caso, he aprendido que el método de 'ignore it and it will go away' funciona muy bien. En vez de sentirte mal, deja ir los comentarios, a la larga sólo te harán más fuerte. Sí, los estúpidos deberían nacer mudos, pero desafortunadamente no lo hacen, así que hay que aprender a sobrellevarlos.
He tenido muchos problemas para manejar las opiniones de los demás: cuando era más chica me costaba mucho trabajo imaginar que a alguien no le cayera bien, o que alguien no pensara que era la niña más inteligente y más bonita del mundo. Cuando tenía que enfrentar comentarios o críticas negativas, generalmente lo hacía de la peor manera. Me deprimía, me enfurecía y las más veces lloraba hasta no poder más. Aunque hacia el mundo adoptaba la máscara de 'ya no me importa lo que piensen de mi,' sí me importaba, y mucho, y siempre trataba de acomodarme a las exigencias de los demás. Que si debía ser más delgada, dejé de comer hasta desvanecerme; que si tenía que ser más lista, estudiaba hasta que los ojos se me cerraban del cansancio. En fin, era una obsesión enfermiza por siempre quedar bien ante los demás, por tratar de ser perfecta. Es un defecto enorme, que me ha costado mucho trabajo superar, y aun sigo peleandome a veces conmigo misma por dejar ir las críticas de gente ignorante, que no sabe lo que dice.
Por eso, ver que a alguien le afecte lo que un imbécil tenga que decir, me duele en el alma. No tengo la autoridad moral para decir que debes dejar pasar ese tipo de cosas, porque ni yo misma lo hago, pero como una persona muy sabia me lo dijo: el hecho de que yo también lo haga simplemente me da la experiencia suficiente para poder darte el consejo de no hacerlo. Gente que esté en desacuerdo con lo que eres, habrá muchisima. ¿Por qué? Pues porque ignorantes, desafortundamante, nunca dejarán de nacer, y conforme pasa el tiempo, sus números solamente aumentan. Lo importante aquí es darse cuenta de que su opinión no importa, no pasa nada si te rechazan. Es más, tómalo como una bendición porque luego la estupidez se pega. Lo único que importa es lo que tú pienses de tí mismo: si estás conforme con lo que eres, te aseguro que siempre econtrarás gente que también lo esté. Y estas personas están a tu alrededor, saben lo que eres y no dejaron de quererte ni un tantito por eso. Recuerda el miedo que tuviste de confesarlo, de que al saberse la verdad te harían a un lado. Pero eso no pasó, en ningun caso, y eso habla de lo grande que eres. Eres lo suficientemente importante en todas esas vidas como para que no importe lo que digas, hagas o dejes de hacer, nadie te dé la espalda.
Así que no te dejes desanimar por la reacción tan ridícula que algunas personas hayan tenido, o la reacción que otras más tendrán en el futuro. Esa clase de gente siempre la encontrarás, y debes aprender a lidiar con ellos. En mi caso, he aprendido que el método de 'ignore it and it will go away' funciona muy bien. En vez de sentirte mal, deja ir los comentarios, a la larga sólo te harán más fuerte. Sí, los estúpidos deberían nacer mudos, pero desafortunadamente no lo hacen, así que hay que aprender a sobrellevarlos.
Monday, February 22, 2010
new realizations
when did i become everything i hated?
i need to start over. i need to make my life my own again.
because dependency sucks.
i need to start over. i need to make my life my own again.
because dependency sucks.
Friday, January 29, 2010
what a pretty face!
I've never had any problem discussing prostitution. Honestly, I've always felt it's a problem within every single society, that will never disappear. That's why I believe, that instead of wasting time, energy and money in trying to eliminate it (let's face it: that's an impossible task; for as long as penis and vaginas exist, prostitution will exist), we should focus on regulating it. Because what is true is that the lack of norms and laws involving prostitution stimulate other sorts of problems, like the spreading of disease, abuses, etc. So, instead of channeling our resources to an impossible task, why not invest them into something that will eventually bring benefits to society as a whole?
These views represent my very particular point of view of course, and I'm certainly aware that there exist plenty of other points of view which stand opposite to mine, but after a recent experience, I am more than convinced that something must be done to regulate prostitution. Last Thursday, I was on my way to my aunt's house. It was around one pm, and I was walking along, minding my own business, when I finally noticed, after several blocks, that someone was following me. Mistake number one, for I should have been paying more attention to what was happening around me. If I had, I would have realized the same man that stared at me at one corner, had been following me ever since. As soon as I realized this, he took my arm and smiled, as if that would reassure me. Dude, a strange man follows me and then grabs me by the elbow: do you really think you can reassure me by smiling?
Anyway, he informs me I have the most beautiful face he has seen, and before I can say anything, offers me a job as a hostess at this restaurant called Angus. Now, mind you, I'm rather naïve and before that day, I didn't know about that particular restaurant's reputation. That's why at first it didn't set off any alarm bells in my head. But then he started asking me all sorts of questions, regarding my moral status, whether I considered myself liberal or not, etc. That's when I thought there was something shady going on with the dude, and I told him so. I asked what was I expected to do, as 'hostess,' that required him to know all those things about me. Then he tried, in the most euphemic way possible, to explain how I would be using my face and my body to make the restaurant more money. My job would consist, if I understood correctly, in getting the clients to order the most expensive dishes on the menu, using whatever means necessary. Of course, the dude that was ordering would be apparently interested in me, and I was given the choice of accepting his attention (materialized in a huge tip) and sleeping with him, gaining extra cash by doing so.
What probably stunned me the most out of the whole ordeal, was the fact that he told me all of this in such a natural way you'd think he was talking about the weather. Like he'd done it penty of times before, and the fact that he was basically telling me to sell my body had never impressed anyone before. He told me I'd be making anywhere between 25 and 40 grand a month, and after that he made a pause, as if sure the numbers would impress me. He said all that was important in life was money, sex and power. He told me the men that went to dine at the restaurant were powerful and rich, and that they would fall for me and give me anything I pleased. Money, cars, jewelry, anything.
Once he saw I wasn't really interested in the whole thing, he insisted on seeing me, saying we could start out as 'friends.' Please, like I want to have anything to do with a 40-something dude that's after my ass. I could finally wriggle out of his grasp and leave, terrified and pale, but safe. It was weird, and the whole thing really freaked me out, but once I was calm and was able to think things through, I realized I had just come face-to-face with an elite service that, euphemisms aside, was nothing more than prostitution. Now, I can safely say prostitution is indeed closer to us than we think, and it has become something much more sophisticated than we can imagine. I started thinking of all the girls before me, and of all the girls that will come after me, that are either tempted by the money or simply enjoy frolicking around with men, that agree to work there. Isn't it sad? How can someone think so little of herself so as to borrow her body to anyone who is willing to pay for it? Because let's be honest, the girls that work there aren't starving. If you don't have anything to eat and have to prostitute yourself to make some cash, you do it on the streets. Or at a hoar-house, maybe. But at a fancy restaurant? I don't think so. So there's no pitying the ladies that agree to work there, no saying 'oh poor things they didn't have a choice.' Because they do have a choice.
So, all in all, I can now look back and say: phew! I dodged a bullet there. It was a scary situation, but I'm glad my parents gave me enough strength in character and moral principles to say thank you, but no thank you. Because it is that easy. Someone offers you a lot of money, and before you realize it you are tangled in a web of deceit, humilitation and loss of self-respect that can lead to sickness, pregnancy and depression. I'm not rich by any means, but I'd rather work my ass off to pay school than sell my body to a filthy old man that's going to use me as a kleenex. I mean seriously, who can be as stupid as to believe the clients are going to have sex with you, fall for you, and want to marry you? More likely than not, they are going to make you do all sorts of disgusting things, then throw you away like you don't matter.
Ladies, a word of advice then. Keep your eyes and ears wide open. You never know when you will come close to a situation similar to the one I experienced, and sometimes you may not even realize what you are doing before you wind up tangled in all sorts of troubles. And the last thing we all need right now, are more issues. Right?
These views represent my very particular point of view of course, and I'm certainly aware that there exist plenty of other points of view which stand opposite to mine, but after a recent experience, I am more than convinced that something must be done to regulate prostitution. Last Thursday, I was on my way to my aunt's house. It was around one pm, and I was walking along, minding my own business, when I finally noticed, after several blocks, that someone was following me. Mistake number one, for I should have been paying more attention to what was happening around me. If I had, I would have realized the same man that stared at me at one corner, had been following me ever since. As soon as I realized this, he took my arm and smiled, as if that would reassure me. Dude, a strange man follows me and then grabs me by the elbow: do you really think you can reassure me by smiling?
Anyway, he informs me I have the most beautiful face he has seen, and before I can say anything, offers me a job as a hostess at this restaurant called Angus. Now, mind you, I'm rather naïve and before that day, I didn't know about that particular restaurant's reputation. That's why at first it didn't set off any alarm bells in my head. But then he started asking me all sorts of questions, regarding my moral status, whether I considered myself liberal or not, etc. That's when I thought there was something shady going on with the dude, and I told him so. I asked what was I expected to do, as 'hostess,' that required him to know all those things about me. Then he tried, in the most euphemic way possible, to explain how I would be using my face and my body to make the restaurant more money. My job would consist, if I understood correctly, in getting the clients to order the most expensive dishes on the menu, using whatever means necessary. Of course, the dude that was ordering would be apparently interested in me, and I was given the choice of accepting his attention (materialized in a huge tip) and sleeping with him, gaining extra cash by doing so.
What probably stunned me the most out of the whole ordeal, was the fact that he told me all of this in such a natural way you'd think he was talking about the weather. Like he'd done it penty of times before, and the fact that he was basically telling me to sell my body had never impressed anyone before. He told me I'd be making anywhere between 25 and 40 grand a month, and after that he made a pause, as if sure the numbers would impress me. He said all that was important in life was money, sex and power. He told me the men that went to dine at the restaurant were powerful and rich, and that they would fall for me and give me anything I pleased. Money, cars, jewelry, anything.
Once he saw I wasn't really interested in the whole thing, he insisted on seeing me, saying we could start out as 'friends.' Please, like I want to have anything to do with a 40-something dude that's after my ass. I could finally wriggle out of his grasp and leave, terrified and pale, but safe. It was weird, and the whole thing really freaked me out, but once I was calm and was able to think things through, I realized I had just come face-to-face with an elite service that, euphemisms aside, was nothing more than prostitution. Now, I can safely say prostitution is indeed closer to us than we think, and it has become something much more sophisticated than we can imagine. I started thinking of all the girls before me, and of all the girls that will come after me, that are either tempted by the money or simply enjoy frolicking around with men, that agree to work there. Isn't it sad? How can someone think so little of herself so as to borrow her body to anyone who is willing to pay for it? Because let's be honest, the girls that work there aren't starving. If you don't have anything to eat and have to prostitute yourself to make some cash, you do it on the streets. Or at a hoar-house, maybe. But at a fancy restaurant? I don't think so. So there's no pitying the ladies that agree to work there, no saying 'oh poor things they didn't have a choice.' Because they do have a choice.
So, all in all, I can now look back and say: phew! I dodged a bullet there. It was a scary situation, but I'm glad my parents gave me enough strength in character and moral principles to say thank you, but no thank you. Because it is that easy. Someone offers you a lot of money, and before you realize it you are tangled in a web of deceit, humilitation and loss of self-respect that can lead to sickness, pregnancy and depression. I'm not rich by any means, but I'd rather work my ass off to pay school than sell my body to a filthy old man that's going to use me as a kleenex. I mean seriously, who can be as stupid as to believe the clients are going to have sex with you, fall for you, and want to marry you? More likely than not, they are going to make you do all sorts of disgusting things, then throw you away like you don't matter.
Ladies, a word of advice then. Keep your eyes and ears wide open. You never know when you will come close to a situation similar to the one I experienced, and sometimes you may not even realize what you are doing before you wind up tangled in all sorts of troubles. And the last thing we all need right now, are more issues. Right?
Friday, January 15, 2010
is there still hope?
It's funny how many philosophers have debated over and over again about the nature of the human being. Are we good, are we evil, are we a little bit of both? Hobbes thought men couldn't be trusted, that we would destroy the other as soon as we had the chance, and that cooperation was simply out of the question. I believe he would have a hard time explaining what is going on in Haiti right now. Considered the poorest country in all the continent, the tiny left-part of an island in the Caribbean Sea suffered what is considered the worst earthquake they've seen in more than a century. 7.1 on the Richter scale, more or less the same as the Mexican earthquake back in 1985. Except Haitian buildings apparently lacked the advanced infrastructure many Mexican buildings had and which prevented them from suffering much damage. Most of Port-au-Prince was completely devastated, leaving millions of people with nothing, and taking even the lives of several thousands.
Once news of the disaster reached global ears, the effect was immediate. Exactly what Hobbes predicted could never happen, happened. People from all across the globe, with nothing in common except a desire to help and offer their services immediately boarded planes and ships destined for the tiny nation.
So how can we explain this behavior? How can we explain the fact that Haiti has become the number one priority for the government of the United States, that countries like Mexico (who were shunned once by the very government of Haiti before, fearful of the AH1N1 flu) immediately began collecting food and medicine and neighboring countries such as the Dominican Republic allow a constant flow of sick and wounded into their territory to be treated? Can one really say men are selfish and evil, when we have hundreds of UN personnel willing to risk their lives in order to continue searching for survivors? When you have hundreds of people, alone and in groups, waiting for a flight or a bus that can take them from the Dominican airport to the Haitian capital, all wanting to lend a helping hand amidst the disaster?
So maybe Hobbes got it wrong. Maybe, when faced with disaster and catastrophe, men can cooperate and help one another. When things get rough, we find a way to survive, together. Boundaries that mattered before, like race and gender and culture and religion, come shattering down and all that matters is that we are human and sometimes we need one another. Amidst the terrible news of people dying, of families torn apart, of people losing everything they owned, it is inspiring to read about all he help that is already there, and all the help that is on its way. Despite the difficulties, experts didn't hesitate to hop on a plane and see if they could be useful, bringing hope to a devastated society. I applaud the world, for finally realizing territorial and cultural boundaries don't matter when it comes to disasters, and that differences can be set aside when it is needed. I applaud fast, effective reactions, and the complete support every single person has given the Haitians, who need all the help they can get.
In the end, I keep getting more examples (few, but more nonetheless) that convince me more and more that realists had it all wrong. Cooperation is possible, wether there are interests in the mix or not. Humans are capable of thinking in someone else other than themselves, and just as we have proved that our creativity and imagination know no bounds, so does our soul. It's just a matter of realizing what is important, and knowing we simply cannot survive without occasional help. Even if that help comes from the most unlikely places.
Monday, January 11, 2010
no air
I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
right off the ground to float to you
there's no gravity to hold me down for real
But somehow I'm still alive inside,
You took my breath but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care...
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
new year, new me?
And so another year begins. Fan-fucking-tastic. With my past experience, I can't say I'm looking forward to what 2010 will bring. 2009 was all about heartache, disappointment, many friendships lost, stress, depression, sickness and my favorite: all-around failure. I failed at almost every aspect of my life, and just to give you guys something funny to lighten your day, I decided to list a few of the major highlights of last year (in case you missed them). So, without further ado, here is the recount of my most important hits and misses of 2009 (mind you, most of them are misses):
MISS: SCHOOL
The first semester of the year, and I already started out bad. I took only five courses out of six possible, and the first month wasn't even up when I already had to give up one more class, leaving me with the mediocre number of four subjects. Then, the second semester, when I was finally taking six classes, I ended up achieving the first sevens in my entire ITAM career. That pulled my grades down so much I'm barely clawing the limit for the scholarship. School sucks, and I've still got two full years to go. Whopee.
MISS: FRIENDS
I got so wrapped up with me and my problems that I completely forgot all about my friends. I let many slip away, I ignored others and made many feel bad on more than one occasion. I'm sorry, I know I tend to be rather selfish and self-centered, I ask you to please cope with me, I'm not all that bad all the time, right
MISS: ROMANCE
As you all know, my romantic life went from bad to worse as the year passed, so I don't think it is necessary to go in more detail. Hopefully (ARE YOU LISTENING GOD??!! YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!!) this year will bring a decent guy. I'm not really all that picky you know.
HIT: WORK
Probably the only thing that went right this year was the fact that I landed a five-month internship at SRE. It wasn't the best job ever, but hey, I'm not complaining. Pretty much anything's good at this point in my life.
MISS: SCHOOL
The first semester of the year, and I already started out bad. I took only five courses out of six possible, and the first month wasn't even up when I already had to give up one more class, leaving me with the mediocre number of four subjects. Then, the second semester, when I was finally taking six classes, I ended up achieving the first sevens in my entire ITAM career. That pulled my grades down so much I'm barely clawing the limit for the scholarship. School sucks, and I've still got two full years to go. Whopee.
MISS: FRIENDS
I got so wrapped up with me and my problems that I completely forgot all about my friends. I let many slip away, I ignored others and made many feel bad on more than one occasion. I'm sorry, I know I tend to be rather selfish and self-centered, I ask you to please cope with me, I'm not all that bad all the time, right
MISS: ROMANCE
As you all know, my romantic life went from bad to worse as the year passed, so I don't think it is necessary to go in more detail. Hopefully (ARE YOU LISTENING GOD??!! YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!!) this year will bring a decent guy. I'm not really all that picky you know.
HIT: WORK
Probably the only thing that went right this year was the fact that I landed a five-month internship at SRE. It wasn't the best job ever, but hey, I'm not complaining. Pretty much anything's good at this point in my life.
