Sunday, April 25, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
made my day
Ok so I just had to share this will you all. It's a letter from this woman to the Regional Manager of Procter & Gamble. It's almost as if I wrote it!!!! Hope you gals have a laugh.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Wendi Aarons
Austin , T X
AHORA ENTIENDES NEPO??????
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Wendi Aarons
Austin , T X
AHORA ENTIENDES NEPO??????
Saturday, April 17, 2010
JUST LIVE!
Get dirty. Get fucking filthy. Get poor. Get off your ass. Get desperate. Get dangerous. Get vilified. Get vile. Get romantic. Get fucked. Get moving. Get productive. Get pro-active. Get started. Get your own life. Get doing something. Anything.
Because before you know it you're 40 with kids, a mortgage, and responsabilites that cause your fun to come second.
So before cancer, before children, before 50 hour work week, before back and knee problems, before school loans, before you loose your sense of humor...
Fight.
Fight and fuck and run and smile. Smile because the older you get, the less you will.
So yes, quit being such a goddamn pussy because bitching and whining and worrying never made anything better.
Because before you know it you're 40 with kids, a mortgage, and responsabilites that cause your fun to come second.
So before cancer, before children, before 50 hour work week, before back and knee problems, before school loans, before you loose your sense of humor...
Fight.
Fight and fuck and run and smile. Smile because the older you get, the less you will.
So yes, quit being such a goddamn pussy because bitching and whining and worrying never made anything better.
GO LIVE BITCHES.
i think i've grown
Been there, done that. Does that make me mature? Or just plain stupid for letting myself feel that way? Either way, I'm glad I've put it behind me. A new chapter is coming up ahead, I can feel it.
NINE PAINFUL THINGS
o1. Bringing back the feeling you learned to forget.
o2. Reminiscing the good times.
o3. Trying to hide what you really feel.
o4. Loving someone who loves another (or himself).
o5. Having a committment with someone that you know wouldn't last.
o6. Shielding you heart to love somebody.
o7. Loving the person too much.
o8. Right love at the wrong moment.
o9. Taking risk to fall in love again.
Currently working on number nine. I'll keep you updated with the results.
NINE PAINFUL THINGS
o1. Bringing back the feeling you learned to forget.
o2. Reminiscing the good times.
o3. Trying to hide what you really feel.
o4. Loving someone who loves another (or himself).
o5. Having a committment with someone that you know wouldn't last.
o6. Shielding you heart to love somebody.
o7. Loving the person too much.
o8. Right love at the wrong moment.
o9. Taking risk to fall in love again.
Currently working on number nine. I'll keep you updated with the results.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
funny thoughts
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
HAHAHAHA. MADE MY DAY. NOW I JUST NEED TO FIND MYSELF SOMEONE WITH SEXY PARTS....THEY SEEM SO FRICKIN SCARCE THESE DAYS!
It's been ages since I've been on date, and I'm beginning to feel sort of like Ugly Betty...So if anyone knows someone I might like, by all means speak up. I'm bored of being single. xD
HAHAHAHA. MADE MY DAY. NOW I JUST NEED TO FIND MYSELF SOMEONE WITH SEXY PARTS....THEY SEEM SO FRICKIN SCARCE THESE DAYS!
It's been ages since I've been on date, and I'm beginning to feel sort of like Ugly Betty...So if anyone knows someone I might like, by all means speak up. I'm bored of being single. xD
Saturday, March 20, 2010
los estúpidos deberían nacer mudos
Bueno, ahora es mi turno de hacerlo a tu manera. Siempre he pensado que, no importa lo que nos digan los libros, es muy dificil no hacerle caso a lo que piensan los demás de ti. Que si estás muy gordo, muy flaco, muy alto, muy chaparro, muy moreno, muy blanco; en fin, siempre va a haber alguien que tenga algo que decir sobre ti, ya sea bueno o malo. Siempre va a haber alguien que te juzgue por lo que eres, porque en sus pequeñas mentes no hay cabida para algo distinto a lo que conocen.
He tenido muchos problemas para manejar las opiniones de los demás: cuando era más chica me costaba mucho trabajo imaginar que a alguien no le cayera bien, o que alguien no pensara que era la niña más inteligente y más bonita del mundo. Cuando tenía que enfrentar comentarios o críticas negativas, generalmente lo hacía de la peor manera. Me deprimía, me enfurecía y las más veces lloraba hasta no poder más. Aunque hacia el mundo adoptaba la máscara de 'ya no me importa lo que piensen de mi,' sí me importaba, y mucho, y siempre trataba de acomodarme a las exigencias de los demás. Que si debía ser más delgada, dejé de comer hasta desvanecerme; que si tenía que ser más lista, estudiaba hasta que los ojos se me cerraban del cansancio. En fin, era una obsesión enfermiza por siempre quedar bien ante los demás, por tratar de ser perfecta. Es un defecto enorme, que me ha costado mucho trabajo superar, y aun sigo peleandome a veces conmigo misma por dejar ir las críticas de gente ignorante, que no sabe lo que dice.
Por eso, ver que a alguien le afecte lo que un imbécil tenga que decir, me duele en el alma. No tengo la autoridad moral para decir que debes dejar pasar ese tipo de cosas, porque ni yo misma lo hago, pero como una persona muy sabia me lo dijo: el hecho de que yo también lo haga simplemente me da la experiencia suficiente para poder darte el consejo de no hacerlo. Gente que esté en desacuerdo con lo que eres, habrá muchisima. ¿Por qué? Pues porque ignorantes, desafortundamante, nunca dejarán de nacer, y conforme pasa el tiempo, sus números solamente aumentan. Lo importante aquí es darse cuenta de que su opinión no importa, no pasa nada si te rechazan. Es más, tómalo como una bendición porque luego la estupidez se pega. Lo único que importa es lo que tú pienses de tí mismo: si estás conforme con lo que eres, te aseguro que siempre econtrarás gente que también lo esté. Y estas personas están a tu alrededor, saben lo que eres y no dejaron de quererte ni un tantito por eso. Recuerda el miedo que tuviste de confesarlo, de que al saberse la verdad te harían a un lado. Pero eso no pasó, en ningun caso, y eso habla de lo grande que eres. Eres lo suficientemente importante en todas esas vidas como para que no importe lo que digas, hagas o dejes de hacer, nadie te dé la espalda.
Así que no te dejes desanimar por la reacción tan ridícula que algunas personas hayan tenido, o la reacción que otras más tendrán en el futuro. Esa clase de gente siempre la encontrarás, y debes aprender a lidiar con ellos. En mi caso, he aprendido que el método de 'ignore it and it will go away' funciona muy bien. En vez de sentirte mal, deja ir los comentarios, a la larga sólo te harán más fuerte. Sí, los estúpidos deberían nacer mudos, pero desafortunadamente no lo hacen, así que hay que aprender a sobrellevarlos.
He tenido muchos problemas para manejar las opiniones de los demás: cuando era más chica me costaba mucho trabajo imaginar que a alguien no le cayera bien, o que alguien no pensara que era la niña más inteligente y más bonita del mundo. Cuando tenía que enfrentar comentarios o críticas negativas, generalmente lo hacía de la peor manera. Me deprimía, me enfurecía y las más veces lloraba hasta no poder más. Aunque hacia el mundo adoptaba la máscara de 'ya no me importa lo que piensen de mi,' sí me importaba, y mucho, y siempre trataba de acomodarme a las exigencias de los demás. Que si debía ser más delgada, dejé de comer hasta desvanecerme; que si tenía que ser más lista, estudiaba hasta que los ojos se me cerraban del cansancio. En fin, era una obsesión enfermiza por siempre quedar bien ante los demás, por tratar de ser perfecta. Es un defecto enorme, que me ha costado mucho trabajo superar, y aun sigo peleandome a veces conmigo misma por dejar ir las críticas de gente ignorante, que no sabe lo que dice.
Por eso, ver que a alguien le afecte lo que un imbécil tenga que decir, me duele en el alma. No tengo la autoridad moral para decir que debes dejar pasar ese tipo de cosas, porque ni yo misma lo hago, pero como una persona muy sabia me lo dijo: el hecho de que yo también lo haga simplemente me da la experiencia suficiente para poder darte el consejo de no hacerlo. Gente que esté en desacuerdo con lo que eres, habrá muchisima. ¿Por qué? Pues porque ignorantes, desafortundamante, nunca dejarán de nacer, y conforme pasa el tiempo, sus números solamente aumentan. Lo importante aquí es darse cuenta de que su opinión no importa, no pasa nada si te rechazan. Es más, tómalo como una bendición porque luego la estupidez se pega. Lo único que importa es lo que tú pienses de tí mismo: si estás conforme con lo que eres, te aseguro que siempre econtrarás gente que también lo esté. Y estas personas están a tu alrededor, saben lo que eres y no dejaron de quererte ni un tantito por eso. Recuerda el miedo que tuviste de confesarlo, de que al saberse la verdad te harían a un lado. Pero eso no pasó, en ningun caso, y eso habla de lo grande que eres. Eres lo suficientemente importante en todas esas vidas como para que no importe lo que digas, hagas o dejes de hacer, nadie te dé la espalda.
Así que no te dejes desanimar por la reacción tan ridícula que algunas personas hayan tenido, o la reacción que otras más tendrán en el futuro. Esa clase de gente siempre la encontrarás, y debes aprender a lidiar con ellos. En mi caso, he aprendido que el método de 'ignore it and it will go away' funciona muy bien. En vez de sentirte mal, deja ir los comentarios, a la larga sólo te harán más fuerte. Sí, los estúpidos deberían nacer mudos, pero desafortunadamente no lo hacen, así que hay que aprender a sobrellevarlos.
