it's alright, it's ok

It's been a year of ups and downs, a year full of pain, drama and confusion. A year full of growth and maturity, of heartbreak and disappointment. I've cried and I've laughed, I've learned about people and relationships, and I lost a lot of my innocence and naïvité. But it's time to officially close the chapter and move on to the next. I feel like there are so many things awaiting, so many moments to live and people to meet, that cannot occurr because I'm still stuck in the past. I know I've said it so many times before it now sounds like a joke, but I'm ready to move on. This time for real. This doesn't mean I'm completely over him, I'm far from it, but I want to move on, I need to move on. I'm tired, I feel empty, and I've got nothing to give anymore. I think I deserve someone better, no wait, I know I deserve someone better. And he's out there, somewhere, waiting for me to get over this person that isn't good for me, waiting for me to open my eyes and realize it's not the end of the world. I'm not the prettiest girl out there, but I'm decent enough, and I can allow myself to pick. So why should I settle for someone that not only doesn't give me what I want, but doesn't even feel anything for me anymore? It's time to put my feelings in a box and lock it away, to start using my brain instead of my heart, and to realize the only person that's going to end hurt and broken, yet again, is me, if I continue with this sick relationship. So this is it, this is the end of a long, tormentous year, and hopefully the beginnings of a new one, of a new phase, of a new love, of a new life.