Monday, November 9, 2009
illness
There is something seriously wrong with me. Besides my many psichological issues, I mean. It seems lately I'm not myself, I've lost all the energy, all the drive, all the willingness to do things. Last semester I juggled with school and a job, and while it was hard, I don't remember ever feeling like this. It seems my body isn't my own anymore, that in the course of a few weeks it turned old and decaying, and it refuses to cooperate anymore. I sleep all the time, and I cannot manage to stay active for more than a few hours. I feel tremendously tired, even though I'm sleeping a lot more than usual. I cannot concentrate on schoolwork, I cannot even study properly. My mind is distant, and simple problems cannot be figured out. Tears come to my eyes more and more frequently, and I'm scared. I almost passed out today, and I don't know why. I don't feel sick, I just feel tired. I want to be left alone, but at the same time I cannot be alone. I'm terrified, but I don't want to go to the doctor, because I sense there is something very wrong with me, and I don't think I could handle it. I feel alone, more so than I've ever felt before, and I just want someone to tell me everything's going to be alright. I want the old me back. I don't know where the strength I thought I had has gone. The worse part is, all these weird sensations have kept me from homework and exams, and I'm worried I might fail something. That makes me even sadder, but it seems I cannot do anything to help it. I need help...
2 shout outs:
Nena, de esto tristemente sé mucho porque soy una persona que tiende a lo mismo: lo que tienes, en mi corta experiencia, se llama depresión... y lamentablemente no va a haber profesional que te de una medicina buenísima que te saque de ella... Es el tipo de cosas al que se entra y sale por propia mano.
A mí suele alcanzarme varias veces al año, so I know the feeling, sólo te puedo recomendar que no te asustes, que no te permitas sabotear tu vida y mucho menos tu escuela: haz las cosas aunque sea sin ganas, pues éstas regresarán solas; cambia tu rutina, intenta hacer ejerciocio, contola las cosas que puedas, deja ir las que no, arréglate diario (así de perdida al final de los peores días no te sientes tan mal cuando te ves en un espejo), oblígate a no dormir de más. Venga, ¡a echarle ganas!, no te presiones; es un proceso difícil, pero sobrevivible.
Ah y el helado nunca está de más :) habrá que ir por uno pronto.
Te mando abrazos, ya no te desaparezcas tanto.
You know I'm right here ;)
Yep, it just migth be depression hon, its not as you didnt have a good reason for it.
Then again, I feel the exact same way. I would tell you we are good friends and we are both crazy as cows and ten we would be happily depreessed together. Sympthoms are quite accuratly from depression. Then again, my mother's going throug a very similar thing (she's got a tyroid problem thought) and so is my boyfriend, some of my friends and a hole bunch of pepole. So to be honest hon I cant tell you what I honestly thing.
I can tell you however that your not the only one thats crazy a bunch of people goes trhoug this weird sort of peste. Dont worry hon, he'll figure out a way out of this I prommise.
Remmember im your person I love you hon.
O I love the post rigth before mine, although she's got something wrong.... doctors CAN give you a meddicine out of it. course they make u a junkee and a hole lot of colateral effects and so they dont do it unless you're like really old or have cancer....im thinking of taking some thyroid function test, mabe we could do it together althoug we need to blood test u for it.... love u hon
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