day job joys

This is a list of ten things I have learned working at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and I'd like to share them:

o1) Nobody really cares who you are or where you're from, as long as you have an ID to leave at the reception desk. Because of course terrorists don't carry around their ID's with them.

o2) Bureaucracy is the best invention since sliced bread. All innovative ideas and proyects that are subject to it take so long to develop, you end up giving up on them. If that's not the best way to keep your people under control, then I don't know what is.

o3) Diplomats are the funniest people I've ever met. They dress like they're attending the Vienna Congress back in 1814, they use rhetoric a lot in their conversations, and while it seems like they have a trillion things to do, in reality it takes them ages to finish one single proyect.

o4) We all have a Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada inside, just waiting for the chance to come out and unleash her rage. Fortunately, there usually is some tortured assistant around to attack.

o5) There's a gene us people that study or studied IR share that prevents us from being computer friendly. That's why, despite the fact that it's the Foreign Affairs Ministry, the area that's most active is the IT department (information techonologies area, you know, the computer nerds that solve all your problems). Those poor souls run around the building all day, because there is ALWAYS someone that thinks his/her computer is five seconds away from exploding.

o6) It is really unmotivating to see your tax money spent on tons of white sheets, CD's, pens, etc. that are used for everything but work and a huge internet bill that is mostly made up of facebook checking.

o7) If you have an assistant, use him/her all the time! Even if you can do many things yourself, like placing a phone call, writing an official document, or searching the web for a book, tell your assistant to do it for you. After all, what would work be without the joys of having someone to boss around?

o8) Loud music blasting from your computer helps you work harder. So screw the other people around you, if they don't like your music tastes they should buy ear plugs.

o9) After a while of working at the Ministry and hearing all about the international news on a daily basis, sad, lame jokes about international events start filtering into your daily conversations.

i.e.

M: Yesterday the Minister started yelling at me from across the room during the meeting.

C: Really? In front of everyone?

M: Yeah. I felt like Bush when that arab journalist threw a shoe at him. Everyone was just staring at me, trying hard not to burst out laughing at my bright red cheeks.

o10) After a couple of weeks of working for a man that is physically unable to stop talking, you master the attention glance -staring straight at him, blinking every now and then, looking like you're taking in all that he's saying, when in reality your mind is back in your warm bed and you're thinking about your plans for the day.

reflections of stupidity and its effects

Have you ever wondered what goes on in the mind of morons? Like, do their brain cells spend the days at the tanning salon, or playing black jack, drunk out of their minds? Do they say to one another 'Hey, look! A spark! This dude is trying to think! Oh wait, it's gone. Never mind. Do you want a mojito?' I think it would be a very interesting study, just out of blatant curiosity. Today I was blessed enough to face one of said morons, and not only enjoy her amazing presence from afar, oh no, I had to sit through a FOUR HOUR meeting (yes, four godamn hours) listening to her stupidity. It was just a great experience, you know. It really put me in a great mood for the rest of the day. I mean, seriously, WTF???!! This woman woke up one day with a good idea, and she contacted the Minister I'm working with, about it. She wants to open a school of Arts and Technical Skills for the disabled children. It's a pretty neat idea, and the Minister thought he could help her out, you know, by introducing her to the right kind of people. Anyways, the point is today we were going to meet with people from the Public Education Ministry, that would present their ideas on how to develop her project. Long story short, she spent the four hours arguing that although their ideas were good, it just wasn't what she had in mind. GOOD GOD WOMAN, do you want me to bitch slap you? These people are all doing you the favor of sharing their projects, so you feel included, and you reject them? Not only reject them, but straight out snort in their faces, like your mother gave you no education.

She was rude, behaved like a child, and thanks to her stupid arguments, the meeting resulted in a total waste of our time. Like we all have nothing else to do but waste four hours of a day in listening to a whiny child. Whoo-frickin-hoo. Wow, I was SO MAD! Because of her I had to skip lunch, and practically run to my history class so I wouldn't be late. I don't really think a lot about stupid people, but when their stupidity interferes with my life, it becomes my problem. If you've got nothing AT ALL to give to the world, then just SPARE US the troubles and shut up.