once upon a december....

Once upon a time, on a chilly September night, a little girl found exactly what she had been looking for in the least likely of places: a little boy with a big heart and an even bigger mind. He had been standing there, all along, just waiting for her to turn around and notice him. The little girl found her happiness with the most unlikely person, and yet it was exactly that, the spontaniety of it all, that made everything better. Over time, the little girl started to feel things she had never imagined she could feel, and every single day the little boy found ways to make her fall for him all over again. He was everything she had hoped for and more, he opened her eyes to a whole new perspective, he somehow obscured her flaws and made her virtues shine; he completed her. The little girl felt safe in his arms, and for the first time in her life little miss independent found it easy to share her burdens with someone else.

Once upon a December, something changed. The little boy became a stranger, his eyes no longer reflected his soul, and the little girl was confused. She had gotten to know him very well, but she couldn't find anything familiar in the little boy standing before her. The little girl tried with all her might to bring her little boy back, but all in vain. Cold, wet weather tainted her hopes and dreams, and all she could do was grasp tightly to the memories of what had once been. By the time the little boy spoke, the little girl already knew. All the moments shared in the dark, all the affectionate whispers and tender touches, they were gone. His words simply confirmed what her soul already knew, and the little girl retreated back to a dark corner, her shattered heart smashed right in the center of the room for everyone to see.

Once upon a time, a little girl tried fiercely to heal. She locked away all her feelings and memories, and became a living ghost of what she had once been. Again and again she smiled without feeling like it, said she was all right when in reality she was shattered, and worst of all, again and again she tried to convince herself the little boy no longer haunted her dreams. There were times when she actually ended up believing her own act, thinking for a second she had left all the pain behind. Then the little boy directed a small smile her way, and she fell to pieces. Not once, not twice, but many many times she fell victim to her own feelings, they betrayed her and made her fall into his arms again. There were instants when her heart fooled itself into thinking that maybe the little boy had made a mistake, that perhaps there was a perfectly understandable excuse to what he had done, that he wanted her back. But reality would come crashing down the next instant, each time exposing a more painful wound. It took all her will to make a choice, and convince herself that there was no turning back.

Once upon a time, a little girl realized that, no matter how hard she tried, thoughts of a little boy still frequented her mind. That no matter how much she said otherwise, she couldn't live without the sight of him every single day. Her soul conformed itself with his smiles and words, now in mere friendly terms. That little girl realized that despite constant advice, from others and from herself, she couldn't bear to cut the little boy completely from her life. Once upon a time, a little girl realized having only crumbs of him was enough to peacen her, that those few crumbs were enough to feed the fire within her, the fire that had started so long ago and now refused to die.