reflections of stupidity 2

http://www.samhsa.gov/economy/

Really? I mean, really? A whole guide to teach people to survive hardships? Like, Surviving Economic Recession for Dummies Volume I. When I found this, I had to summon all my self control in order to stop myself from rolling around the floor with laughter. You've got to be kidding. Of all the stupid, useless things a government can do, they really went all out with this one. Honestly, if I were an American, I would be greatly offended. Because this guide is obviously assuming Americans are so dumb they will find themselves in an rough situation, panic and jump out the window or something. I still can't believe it! I mean, 'Trying to keep things in perspective - recognize the good aspects of life and retain hope for the future' -that's just a sick way of mocking people. I totally understand there are people whose brain cells are blind drunk most of the time on mojitos and thus can't really coordinate to create brain activity, but generalizing that concept to a whole society is a bit exaggerated, even for our neighbors. What will be next? The Complete Guide on how to Expertly Survive this Shitty Thing called Life?

Now excuse me while I leave to the privacy of my own room where I can roll around the floor gleefully. This totally made my day.

day job joys

This is a list of ten things I have learned working at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and I'd like to share them:

o1) Nobody really cares who you are or where you're from, as long as you have an ID to leave at the reception desk. Because of course terrorists don't carry around their ID's with them.

o2) Bureaucracy is the best invention since sliced bread. All innovative ideas and proyects that are subject to it take so long to develop, you end up giving up on them. If that's not the best way to keep your people under control, then I don't know what is.

o3) Diplomats are the funniest people I've ever met. They dress like they're attending the Vienna Congress back in 1814, they use rhetoric a lot in their conversations, and while it seems like they have a trillion things to do, in reality it takes them ages to finish one single proyect.

o4) We all have a Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada inside, just waiting for the chance to come out and unleash her rage. Fortunately, there usually is some tortured assistant around to attack.

o5) There's a gene us people that study or studied IR share that prevents us from being computer friendly. That's why, despite the fact that it's the Foreign Affairs Ministry, the area that's most active is the IT department (information techonologies area, you know, the computer nerds that solve all your problems). Those poor souls run around the building all day, because there is ALWAYS someone that thinks his/her computer is five seconds away from exploding.

o6) It is really unmotivating to see your tax money spent on tons of white sheets, CD's, pens, etc. that are used for everything but work and a huge internet bill that is mostly made up of facebook checking.

o7) If you have an assistant, use him/her all the time! Even if you can do many things yourself, like placing a phone call, writing an official document, or searching the web for a book, tell your assistant to do it for you. After all, what would work be without the joys of having someone to boss around?

o8) Loud music blasting from your computer helps you work harder. So screw the other people around you, if they don't like your music tastes they should buy ear plugs.

o9) After a while of working at the Ministry and hearing all about the international news on a daily basis, sad, lame jokes about international events start filtering into your daily conversations.

i.e.

M: Yesterday the Minister started yelling at me from across the room during the meeting.

C: Really? In front of everyone?

M: Yeah. I felt like Bush when that arab journalist threw a shoe at him. Everyone was just staring at me, trying hard not to burst out laughing at my bright red cheeks.

o10) After a couple of weeks of working for a man that is physically unable to stop talking, you master the attention glance -staring straight at him, blinking every now and then, looking like you're taking in all that he's saying, when in reality your mind is back in your warm bed and you're thinking about your plans for the day.